Sunday, July 26, 2009

Tough Stuff

Some posts are easier to write than others. This is a tough one. In short, Irene has run away (again) and we are absolutely heartbroken. We haven't had any contact with her in over twenty-four hours and aren't even sure where she is. The only thing we are fairly certain about is that she has no intention of returning. She has become incredibly resentful of our authority and the boundaries that we have set. She has been talking about moving out for several months so that she can "do whatever she wants". We've watched with heavy hearts as she has turned against us and the Lord repeatedly, making absolutely devastating decisions. Greg and I have had to admit that at this point, there is very little more that we can do. We cannot even force her to stay under our roof, much less be respectful and obedient under it. We have no control over who she chooses to hang out with or what she chooses to do with them outside of our home.

My heart was absolutely breaking during church this morning and I could not stop the tears. Isaac was kicking quite a bit and it occurred to me that Irene won't be here when he arrives. Where will she be? Will she be safe? When will we see her again? How did we get to this point? What did we do or not do as parents that failed Irene? I replay the last week over and over again in my head, looking for missed opportunites, ashamed of the times I can see that I may have said the wrong thing. I look back over the five years that I've known her and wonder what else could I have done? Can I forgive myself for every failed conversation or every harsh word said? Can I forgive myself for the things I didn't do enough of? Did I live out the gospel in a way she could see it? Did I lift her up or tear her down? Did I show her the love of Christ? I know that no one is perfect, but I have to be honest with myself. The Lord and I have a lot of talking to do.

As you can imagine, Bella is very confused. She doesn't understand where Sissy is and has asked for her repeatedly. She witnessed an argument between Greg and Irene yesterday and only knows that Sissy was angry and then left. Bella broke my heart last night in the car when she told me that she would "be a good listener" and that she "wasn't angry like Sissy". She adores her Sissy, so as a mother I worry about what effect this will have on her. I hope and pray God gives me the wisdom that I need to help Bella through this.

We humbly ask for prayers of protection for Irene, for wisdom and guidance for Greg and I, and for peace for our whole family. Thank you.

14 comments:

Gail said...

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I will be praying for you and Greg and for Irene's safety.

Terri Anne said...

I have no words of wisdom, except to keep carrying her to the Father. I'll be praying for you guys.

TNKerry said...

I am so sorry Sharon. I can not imagine how you feel right now and how worried you must be. Many prayers for all of you.

Melissa said...

Sharon and Greg,
I know there is nothing that I can say to help this situation except that I am praying for you two, Bella and Irene. I pray that she sees what devoted parents you are and I pray for her safety. Please know that I (and ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY) are here for you and will do anything we can to help.

Tina said...

Oh Father, send wisdom, comfort and peace to Sharon and Greg. Please, please keep Irene safe and draw her to Yourself. In Jesus' all powerful Name. Amen. In Christ's love and mine, Tina

Debbie said...

I will be praying!

Debbie

Alexandra said...

I am so sorry to hear of this struggle. It always seems like life is throwing out good things and tough things side by side. Where does a family catch a break? I will be thinking of you guys and say some prayers. If there is anything I can do.....

Julie said...

Sharon and Greg:
I am praying for safety for Irene and comfort for you and Greg as you face this most difficult time. Lord watch over Irene and keep her safe!

Julie

Pattie said...

I'll be praying for your whole family. This is such a tough issue.

Rhonda said...

I am so incredibly sorry to hear that she choose this path. How old is she? Teen times are really tough and you do have to stay strong and will say a special prayer that she returns safely into your arms to encompass the love. Big Hugs.............

tracy m. said...

Sharon,
I will say a prayer for your family. I imagine you and Greg have heavy hearts right now. God's plan doesn't always make sense. I am so sorry this is happening. I feel for Bella. Poor baby. Just keep the faith and pray that God will protect her. Much love,
Tracy

I am looking for the perfect Cardinals outfit to send Isaac !!

WONDER ME THIS LAND said...

I am sending up my prayers for you all. ((HUGS))

reaping joy said...

Sharon,

I am so sorry to hear about this. I have been checking your blog for updates on Isaac & never expected this. I will be holding your family up in prayer.

Irene is not 18 yet, is she?

Please do not beat yourself up. There are no perfect parents, we just do the best we can, with what we know at the time. That's all we can do. I know you have made every effort to impart Jesus into her life & you have worked hard with homeschooling, bringing her to Guate, etc. Sometimes, even though we've done all the right things, our children still decide to go astray. It is one of the most heartbreaking things we as parents go through, I think...when they are teens, we can't "make" them do anything & it's so hard to watch as they make wrong decisions.

Please email me (I don't think I have your email address anymore), I have a book that I think will really help you. It's helped me a lot with my "challenging" teen. I would love to encourage you with some other stories that are too long for blog comments, too :-)

Love & hugs to you,
Beth
reapingjoyATyahooDOTcom

Anonymous said...

Just know that I love you guys and that I'll miss Irene very much and I'll keep her in my prayers for you and the family and i hope that she will be okay.. I love you guys and be safe.

Kayla